It's been a few months since I've visited this little blog of mine. It's not that I haven't wanted to document our life and how my sweet little Robert is growing and developing, it honestly just got put on the bottom of my to-do list. This is something I hope to change because....as of Monday, the day Robert was 10 months old, I am officially a STAY-AT-HOME MOM!!
This decision was something I had struggled with since going back to work when Robert was 10 weeks old. I had previously worked full-time, but after maternity leave I only worked 3 days a week. I was, however, commuting with an infant 1.5 hours each day I worked...some commutes were quieter than others, ha! There were days that I enjoyed being at work, appreciating the social time with other adults, but most days I spent the entire day wishing I were home with my son. So after 6.5 years of what I considered a successful career at a major corporation, I left my job. I left the salary. I left the benefits. I left it all so that I can spend every day with a little boy who has captured my heart.
The eventual decision to leave my job didn't come easily. I'm an indecisive person, to a fault. I like to know that I'm making the right decision and I typically over-analyze everything. The problem with this decision is that there wasn't a "right" answer. It's okay to be a working-mom and it's okay to be a stay-at-home mom. Shocking statement, I know.
For all of the months I was back at work I heard a whisper telling me that I needed to stay home. But instead of listening to that whisper, I talked to my husband, my family and my friends about what I should do. I ignored the whisper. Because I questioned the whisper. I thought I knew what was best, that my plan for my life was better than God's. Silly, silly girl. Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." So there was no decision for me to make at all. God already had a plan for me. I just had to lay my pride aside and be quiet enough to hear Him. Once I heard Him I realized how foolish it was to put my security in things of this world. A paycheck, insurance, retirement, that's where my security was, not in God. Are all of those things bad? Absolutely not. But they have the ability to create a false sense of security and worth that only God can provide. I was letting my "security" stand in the way of God's plan for me. So where is my worth? What is my identity? I am a wife, a mother, a sister, a friend, the daughter of two amazing parents, but most importantly my identity and worth rests in the fact that I am the daughter of a King and I'm exactly where He wants me to be right now...HOME.
I pray that this personal reflection speaks to someone. Have you been ignoring God's whisper in your life? Are you placing your security or worth in something of this world and not in God?